Is it really about getting it together?
What if we aren’t meant to have it all together? Or that, even more, that insidious expectation that at some point we will have it all together is really not true?
I think that if I were to try that on, even for a tiny second, my shoulders would drop and I’d breathe a little easier. The striving and perfecting wouldn’t seem as important.
I work with a lot of women who are overwhelmed and burned out. As we start to look under the hood, together we realize that this pattern may have set in early and built overtime. That there may have been maintenance lights that went on--moments when the body raised a little flag to say “hey, slow down, we’re experiencing a health/well-being hiccup over here.”
The tendency, however, is to power up in those moments instead of slowing down. The culture at large is saturated with this ethos: take the saying “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” as prime example.
We just have to look at Instagram for a glimpse at the well-curated lives of others who are happy, vacationing, eating perfectly plated açai bowls and drinking green juice, to conclude that they must have their shit together if all that goodness is happening all.the.time.
Rarely, are sleepless nights, brain fog, feeling frazzled, or anxiety pictured.
Then, judgment creeps in. Judgment that we should be able to get it together. Judgment that we should be able to push through. And the flag is ignored or resisted.
The fact that our body needs rest or our nervous system requires rejuvenation is framed as a debility rather than a very normal communication system of our primal physiology.
If the body wants to move towards repair and wellness, which I fundamentally believe it does, then those flags or SOS signals carry vital information. Granted, what to do or how to do it isn’t always quite clear. And may require help and guidance. But, what I do know, is that everyone’s bodies throw up flags.
And it’s not weakness. Tis the state of affairs of being in a human body. And the more we can see those moments with kindness and a smidgen of acceptance rather than the obstacle separating us from the illusory group of people who have it all together, then, the greater freedom we’ll have to respond in a skillful and healing way.
PS: curious about the effect of overwhelm and fatigue and how it relates to hormones? Check out the posts below!